do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
You're like the curious george of whores
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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