It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
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