There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
