If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
