So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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