I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
