just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
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