U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
