Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
