it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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