i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I will pee on everything he values.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
