I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Drake has all the answers
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
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