my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Hippo gnu deer
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize