You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
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Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
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So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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