As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize