ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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