Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
