One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
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