well I can't set my house on fire every night
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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