I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
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I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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