I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
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