If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
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Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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