I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
