i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
