i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
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My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
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the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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