I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize