I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
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