"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
and you fell through a lawn chair
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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