i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize