i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize