i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I have aggressive nipples.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
