I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
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