no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
