Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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