Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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