so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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