Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
