The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
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