At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
17 People Reveal The Reasons Behind Their Foot Fetish
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.