Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
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I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
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Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!