Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful