Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i dont even know how to be here
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Randomize
