why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.