ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
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I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
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Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"