What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
My pussy is not your playground.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
