You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Randomize
