In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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