My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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