Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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