I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
