I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
