At least make sure they are 18
Why
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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