i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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