so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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