Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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