if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
He kissed a someone with a penis
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
This is the high leading the old right now
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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