Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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