I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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