i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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