I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Randomize
