god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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