im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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