See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
